Dear Lover
by SuNsHiNe10
Summary: ...And I'll feign a smile and politely wave and pretend I don't love you...


_So...yes. I wrote this poem like it was letter addressed to the object of my affections (who will NEVER receive it). Everything has been bad lately, and I've been really upset about it. So I've been expressing myself through poetry. Honestly I think this is terrible, but I like it anyway. It can be interpreted as a Teen Titan thing, if you really want, but I wrote it about him. So, here ya go._

There never will be enough.  
That's how I will begin.  
I can't start to tell you everything  
Because it can't be told through pen.

There's not enough ink in the world  
To write what I want to say.  
And this crumpled piece of notebook paper  
Is small, tattered and frayed.

I could write novels, fill book after book  
And even then I would not be satisfied.  
I can write for hours on end  
About how much I adore your eyes.

So forgive me for taking the easy way out  
I admit, it's the cowardly thing to do.  
But the reason it's written as opposed to spoken  
Had nothing to do with you.

Once I tried this face to face  
The results were less than stellar  
And I was crushed, needless to say,  
By his curt and cold demeanor

I promised myself I'd never do this again,  
And for a while it worked out; True  
I was living a lie but I was happy in my solitude  
Until I met you.

16 is a funny age  
Expected to be an adult, but never treated as one.  
Asked to do so much with so little in return  
Told when to walk, then chided when we did not run.

I'm rambling, I realize.  
I suppose I'm buying my time.  
Part of me wants to spill everything,  
Part of my likes using rhyme.

But what I say carries a weight  
And it has rested on my shoulders for a while  
I break my back ten times a day  
For the simplicity of your smile.

I've had this conversation in my head  
At least three hundred times  
But whenever I actually need it  
I may as well be a mime.

I know I'm dragging this out, I'm sorry,  
There's not much else I can do.  
It's not the easiest thing in the world  
To say I'm in love with you.

Please don't be scared, please don't run,  
I use the "l" word with care.  
And while it's true it's quite enormous  
I think it's the only word that fairs.

It's probably not a shock to you  
To hear this news from me.  
I'm told you've known for quite some time  
While I fuddled with my secrecy.

But it needed to be said  
And I'll continue my humiliation  
To add another tidbit of opinion  
Though it is against my friends motivation

She's not who she appears to be.  
I don't want to use her name.  
She manipulates everyone and everything around her  
And treats life like a game.

We were both competing fiercely  
It was moronic, I realize.  
Yet both of use vied to be the best  
Because you were the first place prize.

I suppose I could have beaten her  
It's cocky, but it's true.  
I was meek, she was strong.  
She was not intimidated by you.

The guilt was overwhelming  
"She's my friend!" I would cry  
I had to stop the silent battles  
That occurred between her and I.

None of that matters now really.  
You know how the story goes.  
You two danced as I waited in the wings  
Desperately standing on my toes.

I hated every moment.  
Every glance, every smile, every stare.  
You adored her like nothing else  
And I faded into the air.

I am a jealous person  
I admit this with a sigh.  
But the jealously was shattered  
With every tear I cried.

And with a whim you ended  
Like the summer's warm embrace  
And try as I may, I never will purge my mind  
Of that sorrowful look on your face.

That was far worse than the previous month.  
I cannot even explain.  
I'd gladly be miserable for the rest of my life  
So that you would be free of pain.

This is useless now, I know.  
(By this point I'm sure you're floored.)  
But with everyday that flies away  
I'll love you even more.

Please don't let her hurt you.  
Please promise not to cry  
Because every time I see you in pain  
I feel a piece of my die.

I'm not saying to shut her out.  
Not by any means.  
She's perfect and you know it.  
She's the cliché girl of your dreams.

I will always be here,  
Though it kills me to see you two.  
But I'll feign a smile and politely wave  
And pretend I don't love you.

So promise you'll be happy  
That is all I really want.  
And I promise to love you forever  
Whether you notice or not.


End file.
